Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.

I live in a swanky loft conversion.

Well my parents keep saying they'll convert it, I'm sure they will soon. But I don't mind, you get used to the bats, and after a while the loft insulation stops giving you a a rash and kinda tickles.

I didn't voice an opinion, though. I just stated the fact that I don't like them. I even told her that they are good people, it seems...

 

Well, you're right. It's done now and I haven't heard from her in the last 24 hours. I guess it's time for me to apologize?

 

Women...

Men...

:awesome::awesome::awesome:

I didn't voice an opinion, though. I just stated the fact that I don't like them.

Pretty sure that's the definition of voicing an opinion.

Well, no matter what it is it apparently is a huge deal for her.

No idea whether I'm in a relationship for much longer now or be single soon. Seeing as she doesn't respond to anything I say the latter seems quite likely.

Women...

Men...

Leaving the gender non-conformists out again I see.

Well, no matter what it is it apparently is a huge deal for her.

 

No idea whether I'm in a relationship for much longer now or be single soon. Seeing as she doesn't respond to anything I say the latter seems quite likely.

I'm sure you voiced your opinion of her friends with her best interests in mind? (That's not meant to come across as controlling but more concerns for her in general) : peace:

It's not as if you said to her "I don't want you seeing your friends!" or anything like that... because that would be pretty bad.

If she's really willing to break up with you over this then perhaps that says more about her than you being labeled as "the bad guy" all of a sudden.

Disclaimer - I don't feel like I'm that good at giving out advice, especially where matters of the heart are concerned but I felt like I should say something rather than just remaining silent, so I'm trying to help, if anything comes across in the wrong way to anyone or as offensive then just know that's not my intention as I'm often misunderstood in socially motivated situations such as this.

TL;DR - I'm trying to help, please don't be hating but point out if I've said something accidentally out of turn, I'm learning here.

I'm sure you voiced your opinion of her friends with her best interests in mind? (That's not meant to come across as controlling but more concerns for her in general) : peace:

It was just a statement that I don't like that particular group of friends and I don't like spending time with them because she asked me why I didn't want to join them the last few times they did something.

She can still meet them, I don't mind. And I would never say anything to her like "you should stop being friends with them".

I really don't see what the big deal is...if she couldn't stand some of my friends I wouldn't care. It's perfectly normal not to like someone. And because I mostly say things as they are I was honest about it when she asked me.

If she's really willing to break up with you over this then perhaps that says more about her than you being labeled as "the bad guy" all of a sudden.

I don't know if she will break up with me. It was just something I said because I'm angry and because something like that happened in one of my past relationships (i.e. a woman not responding for almost two days and then breaking up).

It was just a statement that I don't like that particular group of friends and I don't like spending time with them because she asked me why I didn't want to join them the last few times they did something.

She can still meet them, I don't mind. And I would never say anything to her like "you should stop being friends with them".

 

I really don't see what the big deal is...if she couldn't stand some of my friends I wouldn't care. It's perfectly normal not to like someone. And because I mostly say things as they are I was honest about it when she asked me.

 

I don't know if she will break up with me. It was just something I said because I'm angry and because something like that happened in one of my past relationships (i.e. a woman not responding for almost two days and then breaking up).

That's what I thought, it seems as though it's all been blown out of proportion, you are only being honest afterall, better that than to lie and say that you like them when you don't?

Well, I seriously hope that it's not the case then... I know how it can be if you've upset someone you really care about, it's the worst feeling and can sometimes lead you to assume the worst is going to happen if you let it spiral.

Hopefully she just needs time but personally it doesn't sound to me like you've really done anything wrong except tell the truth... telling the truth is a good thing as well but well, I guess it's all down to perception and whether the other person is willing to accept the truth I suppose. : peace:

All the best anyway.

Well, I seriously hope that it's not the case then... I know how it can be if you've upset someone you really care about, it's the worst feeling and can sometimes lead you to assume the worst is going to happen if you let it spiral.

Yeah that downward spiral is something I'd like to get rid of. Well, I actually don't have the thoughts of her breaking up with me in my head anymore, so that's much more healthy.

I know her, she's pissed and stubborn and my stubbornness has come to an end and I will continue trying to get a response out of her.

you are only being honest afterall, better that than to lie and say that you like them when you don't?

I don't know...being honest has more often than not left me with huge problems. The thing is: I don't like being a hypocrite and pretending to like someone. And she knows that.

I get that it's not great to her that the SO doesn't like some of your friends but still...

That's a hard one. My sister kinda has the same problem with a particular friend of her SO. My sister also lives with her SO which makes it a lot harder. Her SO knows how she feels but hes the kind of guy that's very laid back about things. He also doesn't like some of her friends so they kinda just let live. Did you actually SAY that you didn't mind her spending time with them, that you just werent keen. Because unless you say it women *generally* take the worst-case scenario.

---

So I had been talking to a fella on OKC for a while in around Jan/Feb time. We got messaging over facebook or something, and for a while he went quiet, wasn't really interested in talking to me etc. So I finally got it out of him that he wasn't really feeling it. That was ok, I wasn't heartbroken, but deleted him from FB etc and moved on. Got a message from him last night...... "hows things going saw on your profile you finally got your house" etc.

Hello... what the fuck? You pretty much told me you weren't feeling it no less than 6 months ago..

What is wrong with people? Am I sloppy seconds when something didn't work out with someone else? Ugh

Did you actually SAY that you didn't mind her spending time with them, that you just werent keen. Because unless you say it women *generally* take the worst-case scenario.

Yup, if there's anything I know about women it's this I told her that I have nothing against her spending time with them, I also said that I don't like them and I don't want to lie to them and pretend to like them.

I tried one of these online dating websites a few weeks ago for the first time. I joined OKC with low expectations, but damn... I'm worse at this than I expected. The only two messages I got were from two girls I had sent a message before. I messaged around 10 (ok, the first two weeks only one, and when I saw that there was no answer I decided that I needed to send more), so that's quite low already. Bad thing is, they never answered to my second message.

I read the tips you guys have posted in this thread and I tried to follow them, but I did something very wrong probably. Should I be changing subject a lot in the second message? I was not, I was basically asking them further about their answer, and not telling much about me. I'll try saying more if there's a next time, but I didn't want to send a very long message either.

I tried one of these online dating websites a few weeks ago for the first time. I joined OKC with low expectations, but damn... I'm worse at this than I expected. The only two messages I got were from two girls I had sent a message before. I messaged around 10 (ok, the first two weeks only one, and when I saw that there was no answer I decided that I needed to send more), so that's quite low already. Bad thing is, they never answered to my second message.

 

I read the tips you guys have posted in this thread and I tried to follow them, but I did something very wrong probably. Should I be changing subject a lot in the second message? I was not, I was basically asking them further about their answer, and not telling much about me. I'll try saying more if there's a next time, but I didn't want to send a very long message either.

Ten girls really isn't that many. Online dating is a numbers game. You should be messaging new girls all the time.

I wouldn't worry too much about them not responding to your second message. That's apparently one of the hardest things to do while online dating for some reason. I like to think that they get so excited about finally having found the perfect guy that their hearts stop and they die painfully while trying to figure out the perfect synonym for 'amazing' to put in their second message.

I tried one of these online dating websites a few weeks ago for the first time. I joined OKC with low expectations, but damn... I'm worse at this than I expected. The only two messages I got were from two girls I had sent a message before. I messaged around 10 (ok, the first two weeks only one, and when I saw that there was no answer I decided that I needed to send more), so that's quite low already. Bad thing is, they never answered to my second message.

 

I read the tips you guys have posted in this thread and I tried to follow them, but I did something very wrong probably. Should I be changing subject a lot in the second message? I was not, I was basically asking them further about their answer, and not telling much about me. I'll try saying more if there's a next time, but I didn't want to send a very long message either.

Furthering on from the response is the way to do it. You don't want to bombard them acting as if you're giving a questionnaire

Furthering on from the response is the way to do it. You don't want to bombard them acting as if you're giving a questionnaire

Didn't you use to complain about how girls only ever responded to you once, though? Or did you use to bombard them with questions back then?

I tried one of these online dating websites a few weeks ago for the first time. I joined OKC with low expectations, but damn... I'm worse at this than I expected. The only two messages I got were from two girls I had sent a message before. I messaged around 10 (ok, the first two weeks only one, and when I saw that there was no answer I decided that I needed to send more), so that's quite low already. Bad thing is, they never answered to my second message.

 

I read the tips you guys have posted in this thread and I tried to follow them, but I did something very wrong probably. Should I be changing subject a lot in the second message? I was not, I was basically asking them further about their answer, and not telling much about me. I'll try saying more if there's a next time, but I didn't want to send a very long message either.

You have to say something about yourself. Think about how hard it is for you to think of a message. Then remember that they're trying to think of a message as well. You need to make it as easy as possible for them to reply, otherwise they'll just think you're not a good conversationalist or that it's too much effort to bother with. Yes (most) women want a guy who's a good listener, but conversation is a two way thing.

Women get inundated with messages, so if yours doesn't feel like it's going anywhere then they'll speak to someone else. Plus if they're going to meet up with you they want to know something about you. They don't want to feel like they're being interviewed.

For every message (at least in the beginning before the conversation starts flowing) make sure you answer their question or add something about yourself, and then ask them a question.

Don't worry too much about sending long answers. On OKC people aren't on it constantly, so will rather go on it an hour in the evening or something. If you're only going to be sending 1 or 2 messages a day (or every few days for some people) then you need to make the messages count. On something like Tinder then stick to short messages.

Ten girls really isn't that many. Online dating is a numbers game. You should be messaging new girls all the time.

Yeah ten is a small amount. Half of them probably aren't even dating anymore, and they're not all going to be attracted to.

Think about how many women you've known in your life, and then think about how many of them you've been attracted to. Those sort of percentages are what you're aiming for.

Didn't you use to complain about how girls only ever responded to you once, though? Or did you use to bombard them with questions back then?

I never got the chance to fill out the questionnaire :p

Thanks guys I'll start sending more messages with more about me then. There aren't that many girls that live close enough and that I'd like to message though.

I'll keep you posted!

Well, the girl I like is coming over to mine this weekend. I think it's likely that I'll find out if she is interested in me now, or if it is a "friends" thing.

Well, the girl I like is coming over to mine this weekend. I think it's likely that I'll find out if she is interested in me now, or if it is a "friends" thing.

You mean a 'will they/won't they' relationship that lasts for 10 years, and then ultimately culminates when she gets a job in Paris, and as she's leaving you decide you need to be with her, and so you rush to the airport, but you get the wrong one and you think all is lost, but she gets your message and gets off the plane to get together finally?

Well, the girl I like is coming over to mine this weekend. I think it's likely that I'll find out if she is interested in me now, or if it is a "friends" thing.

Don't take any chances on giving he mixed signals. You need:

Candles

Mood lighting

Barry White on the record deck (also consider Marvin Gaye or Spandau Ballet)

Wine

Wine glasses (don't assume she'll be fine drinking out of a dirty mug with dried coffee in the bottom)

A spliff

Cat litter tray in the middle of the room

Meow loudly at your cat mid-sentence

A KFC bargain bucket

Works every time.

Meow loudly at your cat mid-sentence

 

 

Works every time.

Why would you interrupt your cat like this? Its just rude.

Don't take any chances on giving he mixed signals. You need:

 

Candles

Mood lighting

Barry White on the record deck (also consider Marvin Gaye or Spandau Ballet)

Wine

Wine glasses (don't assume she'll be fine drinking out of a dirty mug with dried coffee in the bottom)

A spliff

Cat litter tray in the middle of the room

Meow loudly at your cat mid-sentence

A KFC bargain bucket

 

Works every time.

As you're also a ginger (like the girl), your advice on this must be 100% perfect.

Also, meowing at cats is a perfectly normal thing.

Meowing is fine. Saying to them "Yes Paul, she'll make an excellent replacement for mother" is not.

Why would you interrupt your cat like this? Its just rude.

The kitten was biting her.