Themefest 09

ReZ, his friends and I went on a rad tour of theme parks over the weekend. It was ace. No doubt ReZ will post his photos at some point, but here is a breif write up of the rad weekends highlights.

Showing up at the campsite and seeing "Mr Jamieson Pre-erect" on a sign.

Trying to find our pre-erected tent by yelling into random tents "Is anyone in there?"

Someone telling us to be a bit quiter because he had kids who were trying to sleep. Enter the peado jokes.

Managing to trade 2 crappy items won on a stall for an infltable frizbee thing at a completely different shop. Proper ye old bartering.

Arriving in York only to discover no campsites allow single gender groups. Camping in York is crap.

Sleeping in a layby and not getting raped.

Watching one of ReZ's friends shitting onto a disposable BBQ. I'm not joking.

Waking up in the morning to see the log resting on the BBQ in all its daylight glory.

Totally beating some ass at laser tag.

ReZ getting thrown off a ride for being drunk and disorderly, having had no alcohol for the entire trip.

ReZ talking to some girls. We talked to them after and they had him sussed out. "I bet he plays with Pokemon cards". Genius.

Drifting the bumper cars.

In 2 seperate theme parks on 2 seperate days, we managed to get on the bumper cars at the same time a disabled person. We are all going to hell.

Watching our bartered inflatable frizbee get squashed under a car on the third or fourth throw.

*awaits ReZ with the pictures*

Sounds pretty awesomepic!

But -- wasn't tehre supposed to be a whole bunch of people on these boards going to some sort of theme park thing? Did you be mean and not invite them? For shame for that, but for glory we need pix.

I think the multi-Neuropean trip is being planned by Eddage. I remembered a few more things about the trip, so here is a more in depth write up.

Left at 8ish on Friday. Pretty uneventful trip.

Met up with everyone at about midnight.

Chatted about obscene things. ReZ and Phil spooned for a bit.

Tried to sleep for about 30 seconds before people started making comedy wanking noises.

Woke up Saturday at an unholy hour.

Phil announces he has morning wood, Brad accidentally sees the trouser tent protruding from Phils sleeping bag. Eveyone laughs except Brad, who is scarred.

Head for Fantasy Island.

Park up. Bloke who owns the parking place tells us that it closes at 5. Twice.

Have breakfast. Notice a sign that features the word "Alchol". It was funnier that it should have been.

Go to a car boot sale. It was shit, except for the raping of the English language on the box of a shit BB gun. ReZ took a picture of it, he better post it.

Went on the first rollercoaster. Phil loses his hat.

Notice that everything is Skegness is illegal as fuck. Pirated DS games, R4 cards and a device that allows you to get loads of Sky channels free.

Brad wins 2 shit things on a game stall (we later trade them for the inflatable frisbee).

Went on Dodgems. Notice a kid with Down Sydrome. Feel massively guilty, but pulverise him none the less.

Go on other rides.

Drive to York.

Go to campsite we planned to stay at. They wont accept single sex groups. We ask why, he doesn't know. Brilliant customer skills. The campsite was literally empty apart from 1 tent. Aparently beggars can be choosers.

No campsite will take us. Head to find a supermarket. Get food and have a BBQ in a layby. Create an ungodly amount of smoke.

Phil pisses on the BBQ, creates tonnes more smoke, then shits on it.

Sleep in cars, don't get raped.

Wake up Sunday morning, embrace the sight of a shit on a BBQ.

Drive to Flamingo Island.

Go on

Go on hilariously racist rollercoaster. It had a constant commentary by an overly steriotyped African person. I'm surprised it didn't offer us free mangos.

Watch Spongebob Squarepants in 4D. It's a bit shit. 1 joke in the whole thing.

ReZ talks to everyone he meets, including some girls during the queue for the rapids ride. He then ties his seatbelt together in reference to Jurassic Park. Gets thrown off for being drunk and disorderly. "I can smell alcohol on your breath". ReZ demands a breathaliser test. They don't have one.

During the ride, the girls ReZ was talking to start talking to us. They take guesses at what he's like. They are scarily acurate.

Mike, Brad and I get drenched on the ride. The girls we were talking to end up with see through clothes.

Go on

Go on a corkscrew rollercoaster. It's also awesome.

Have a pizza buffet.

Go outside park to play with inflateable frizbee. Within 4 throws, it goes under a car and pops. We laugh.

We head our seperate ways. I cry a little.

Fin.

This displeases me. Why the fuck was I not invited?!

I met Phil on Friday for the first time; I think I freaked him out because a) I knew his surname and b) I was wearing a school uniform at work, for no apparent reason.

I was wearing a school uniform at work, for no apparent reason.

Is there an inapparent reason?

Is there an inapparent reason?

Is inapparent a word?! It was a 'back to school' day to raise money for Great Ormond Street hospital. But that wasn't apparent to Phil and I forgot to mention it.

Anyway! Sounds like you lot had fun. Howcome you were sleeping in cars and howcome you didn't get raped?

Is inapparent a word?!

Yes, according to dictionary.com, inapparent means "not apparent", which is fucking surprising.

Yes, according to dictionary.com, inapparent means "not apparent", which is fucking surprising.

Funnily enough, I know what it means. I also know it's not in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Anyway! Sounds like you lot had fun. Howcome you were sleeping in cars and howcome you didn't get raped?

No campsite would take us and all the hotels were "fully booked". So we just slept in the cars. don't know why we weren't raped. God knows I'm sexy as all hell. Plus I even showed some ankle.

Sounds like you had a good weekend, almost makes me wish id come along...........almost

I met Phil on Friday for the first time; I think I freaked him out because a) I knew his surname and b) I was wearing a school uniform at work, for no apparent reason.

That's now a scene in the film I'm writing. Only replace you with Julia Stiles.

Dear sweet Christ that was the most crazy and random sequence of events I have ever experienced. I will upload all the photos and videos in a minute after epic wash time.

Jesis.

Well Goafer has pretty much covered it all. Getting kicked off the ride was so ridiculous. Hilarious though.

Also, in a random shop in Skegness bought a dope tin that said "Proud to be gay" I was wearing my pink hat. The shop attendant started singing....Spice Girls I think. I joined in with her and outlouded her. She said "I'm Nancy" I replied "Thats what they call me sometimes". She then said she was on X-Factor that day. I don't know if she was lieing or not.

On the way home (went with Brad and Phil) I wore the pink hat out the window and waved at all the cars in the traffic jam. A family of gypsie people then begged me for the hat, and put up A4 pieces of paper with various ....comments on. They then sped off (well the right lane was quicker)

Then about 20 minutes later we stopped for petrol....and they were there. This little girl literally begged me for the hat, so I gave it to her. Then we drove off, and they left at about the same time. They then held out a piece of paper (driving along) so we drove side by side, grabbed the paper and it had their number on. So then we spoke with a car full (literally full) of like 8 gypsie type things. Which is funny.

They've now added me on Facebook, and I believe the mother is trying to setup Brad with one of her many daughters.

And now she's talking to me on Facebook. Strange relationship.

Video to come. Pictures? Sure.

Other funny NE bits ; Someone saying "Its Raining again" and Goafer and I sniggering, and also "Buttons" on a ride operating thing. A few Ire-gang-members short of a full house.

Thats Phil. A self confessed disgusting human being.

Goafer w/Vibrator.

Not photoshopped. Seriously.

Alcholic. Brilliant.

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Epic statue.

More pics soon, or just see them all here. http://www.facebook.com/ReZourceman?ref=profile

So in the end how much did this set you boys back?

[ReZ, any chance you can get back to me on that PM too ]

So in the end how much did this set you boys back?

 

[ReZ, any chance you can get back to me on that PM too ]

Personally I spent about £120, including tickets, supplies, gifts, arcades, foodz etc, camping (lol) etc.

Erm yeah I'm just busy doing the vids, and then comics etc then I will check my cards. They're not in any particular order though so its a bit of a pain, etc but I will do it later.

Erm yeah I'm just busy doing the vids, and then comics etc then I will check my cards. They're not in any particular order though so its a bit of a pain, etc but I will do it later.

Do eet naaow pleeeeease! I need them for Saturday, to pimpsmack this bastard. Who's apparently 8th in the country.

My life is yours.

Sounds awesome. I wish I had ReZ's spontanity and ability to not give a damn about social norms.

Sounds awesome. I wish I had ReZ's spontanity and ability to not give a damn about social norms.

Talking to everyone you see (especially at a theme park) is just epic. At the theme park we saw some people repeatadly.

Jessica (Named as Phil asked if I even knew her name and I said yes, Jessica) *the one who predicted me* saw her about 5 times.

Monica (from Friends) the train driver. Her attractiveness was commented on to her by Brad and I (seperately) I asked if we could be friends (or something like that) and thus she became Monica.

The Chavs (dunno how we got to know them) but saw them twice.

The chick on tin can game.

 

Talking to everyone you see (especially at a theme park) is just epic. At the theme park we saw some people repeatadly.

 

Jessica (Named as Phil asked if I even knew her name and I said yes, Jessica) *the one who predicted me* saw her about 5 times.

 

Monica (from Friends) the train driver. Her attractiveness was commented on to her by Brad and I (seperately) I asked if we could be friends (or something like that) and thus she became Monica.

 

The Chavs (dunno how we got to know them) but saw them twice.

 

The chick on tin can game.

See, this is just something I find incredibly hard to do, despite me really wanting to be able to. I wish everybody was more open like this.

Oh, and by the way, partially thanks to your Mafias and general influence, I have picked up my Pokémon games again.

So in the end how much did this set you boys back?

 

[ReZ, any chance you can get back to me on that PM too ]

I think it cost me about £80-£100 or so, including fuel. I was the only person in my car, so I had the whole bill to myself. Grand.

 

Other funny NE bits ; Someone saying "Its Raining again" and Goafer and I sniggering, and also "Buttons" on a ride operating thing. A few Ire-gang-members short of a full house.

 

Looks like you had the best time ever.

I don't know how, but I just read the title as ''The Me Fest''. Years later, a Doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48.

That's now a scene in the film I'm writing. Only replace you with Julia Stiles.

Glad I could help! I want royalties :p

Loving the pics ReZ, are there more on FB? I'll look nowish.

Glad I could help! I want royalties :p

You can walk along the red carpet at the premiere.

Or you can have a part in it. Bearing in mind it's set mostly in the U.S desert-y areas, and about a pregnant woman being lost/fighting an alien.

You went to Flamingo land? I'm literally a 10 minute drive (if that) away from there (Pickering). Totally agree about the voice over guy on Kumali, it never fails to make me giggle/want to strangle everyone in sight after hearing it for the 20th time in a row.

Loving the pics ReZ, are there more on FB? I'll look nowish.

More pics soon, or just see them all here. http://www.facebook.com/ReZourceman?ref=profile

You went to Flamingo land? I'm literally a 10 minute drive (if that) away from there (Pickering). Totally agree about the voice over guy on Kumali, it never fails to make me giggle/want to strangle everyone in sight after hearing it for the 20th time in a row.

Ah Pickering, we went there. We were rudely refused to a camp site there. In fact every camp site we asked (who refused us) were RIDICULOUSLY rude. Like...don't be rude, just say its the rules or whatever. It was such horse shit (the rudeness...I can actually understand the rule itself)

Here's the videos. Although some bits are slightly boring there are some...good lord just MAGICAL moments.

Particularly 5:01 on the first video. Probably the funniest someone waking up scene ever, followed by the funniest they look like they had a rough night scene ever.