The Pokepolice are back! And they’re here to save little Timmy from the malicious grasp of Pokemon Red,  Blue and Yellow with a selection of titles that still feature a lower PEGI rating than the just released 3DS Virtual Console titles.  So kick back, grab a RageCandyBar and let’s dive into our list of PEGI 7 rated titles that any parent would no doubt deem suitable for their little tweenagers…

Be warned that these lists may contain spoilers for certain games…

Fire Emblem Path of Radiance

Ahh Path of Radiance, the game that introduced Ike and the game that brutally killed off his father within the first couple of hours.  Filled with even more political backstabbing and cold blooded murder than its GBA predecessor, it also comes along with some lovely institutional racism that forms the base of its entire plot.  Exactly the kind of subject matter that a 7 year old kid is sure to appreciate!

Trauma Center: Under the Knife

Yup! The original Surgery Simulator was indeed originally rated PEGI 7! Looking past the fact that it probably has more animated blood than most Mortal Kombat games, plenty of foul language, death, religious cultists, partial nudity (ok, it’s silhouetted, but still!) and more biological terrorism than most Resident Evil games (the terrorists in this game certainly have no qualms about infecting children and turning them into biological weapons of mass destruction) , but the game literally has you drawing demonic imagery in the form of a pentagram in order to harness the godly powers of Asclepius, The Healing Touch.

From the creators of Shin Megami Tensei, in case the influence wasn’t obvious enough, Atlus’ exploits will be showing up in these lists more than once…

Super Ghouls N’ Ghosts

Arthur’s classic adventure is indeed rated PEGI 7.  The demonic imagery, animated blood, death, violence and those rather fashionable boxers was clearly too much for a PEGI 3 rating, but the fact that all of the game’s foul language comes from the player’s frustration over dying for the 100^th time, rather than the game itself, means that it still slips by with a lower rating than Pokemon Red, Blue and Yellow! Hooray!

Super Metroid

Long before New Super Mario Bros ripped this scene off with Dry Bowser, Super Metroid did it in far more graphic fashion with Crocomire.  Still only rated PEGI 7 though!

Oh, never mind the fact that you also blow up the entire planet and commit genocide, nor the baby killing either.  It’s all perfectly suitable for kids!

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD

Yup! We have another case of a game getting the same rating twice over, so PEGI clearly think that Wind Waker’s ending scene is doubly suitable for 7 year olds! Don’t try this at home kids! (oh and don’t try throwing pigs off of cliffs either…)

Final Fantasy 6

Well! Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity got away with sacrifice and suicide cults, so Celes’ famous scene clearly isn’t the reason for this outlandish PEGI 7 rating… Perhaps it’s the combination of that, plus genocide, teenage pregnancy, partial nudity, sadism, religious cults, political intrigue, matricide, the many, MANY accounts of personal loss and death, implied prostitution in certain pubs (sorry, I mean cafes), demonic imagery and the overall bleak tone of the game that did it?

Still has a lower rating than Pokemon Red, Blue and Yellow though, so it must be much more child friendly than those games at least!

And that’s it for this time! Missed the previous one? No sweat! Click here to catch up on my list of PEGI 3 rated games that are super duper child friendly.

Want to go even further? Oh you naughty little minx! Well, lucky you! We dare to venture further indeed, so click here to see our final list, this time all featuring the same rating as Pokemon Red, Blue and Yellow.  PEGI 12.