Happy Valentines Day, folks! Now, sit quietly and listen to me.

The DS is the greatest handheld machine ever.

This was something that occurred to me while playing Nintendogs for the first time. For many months I had held a masterpiece in my hands, and I had been none the wiser. Ever since I received my complimentary DS through the post from Nintendo, I had just been treating it like any other machine; it was just a device for playing games and being entertained by. While this is true, the sheer quality of the entertainment and the games had thus far eluded me. It was only in between bathing Sheba (my little doggie) and taking her to the top prize in the voice operated obedience Master Class that I realised that not only was I holding a gaming marvel in my hands, but also a piece of history.

If you do not own a DS, most of this will be lost on you, if you have ever played one, you might have an inkling of what I'm rabbiting on about. If you own one, please, open your eyes to the greatness sat in the palm of your hand.

Let's examine the facts, shall we?

The first truly great thing about the DS is the touch screen. Seems obvious? Well, initially it was the subject of a great deal of cautious interest; many consumers, retailers and developers believed that it was nothing more than a gimmick, a conceit on the part of Nintendo to seem as if they were promoting originality. Column inches were filled with cynical jibes putting it down, saying that it would be relegated to the function of a map screen, a status screen or even worse, not used at all.

Who's laughing now, idiots?

The touch screen is just about one of the most important innovations in handheld design since the front light on the SP -which admittedly took a long time coming. Even when the touch screen is used as nothing more than a map, it quickly becomes an absolute necessity. Take Mario Kart, for example. When some unscrupulous swine covers your top screen with ink, a quick look down will see you straight and ensure that even if you cannot maintain your position, you can at the very least avoid spinning off the track. The same can be said of Mario 64, in some of the larger and more convoluted worlds �such as the lava levels, a careful study if the touch screen can help you on the way to a more successful completion of the quest, or show you where some of those out-of-reach red coins are.

The more active uses of the touch screen speak for themselves: the "mouse" effect for Metroid Hunters, the myriad of crazy things to do in Wario Ware, even the simple action of moving your troops in Advance Wars is made a refreshing joy by the touch screen. The touch screen is great.

Furthermore, the top screen, in tandem with the touch screen permits more active adventures and original ideas that open up new paths for gameplay challenges. The dual-screen function of Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time best embodies this: without the top and bottom screens acting together, the game simply would not work. Games such as Animal Crossing (import it, for the love of God, you deserve it!) even relegate the top screen to a nothingness in normal play, but use it for a myriad of surprising and pleasing ways in order to get full use out of the touch screen. But never is it irrelevant to the game, always it remains a useful tool that furthers the enjoyment of play.

Another great addition � though not as often used as the dual screen function, is the microphone. Not used it yet? Then I suggest you go out and buy Wario Ware and Nintendogs now. Go. Buy. The microphone seems like something of an irrelevance until you play these two games; and then it becomes nothing short of a wonderous improvement on the way that games are played. Although shouting at a polygonal doggie (Good doggie! Woof!) may not seem like the most productive way of spending your time, it well never cease to delight and annoy your friends, family, colleagues and anyone else who is sitting near you on the bus or train. Loving cries of "Sheeeeeeba! Sheeeeba!" and "Spin! Sit!" will cause heads to turn, and elicit furtively curious glances from even the most hardened cynic. Blowing on the mic for Mike's games in Wario Ware and Project Rub may leave you light headed, but I guarantee you will be giddy with glee at the same time.

It goes without saying that the stereo sound is wonderful, the rechargeable battery makes gaming a lot cheaper and the wireless connection means that I no longer have to see the smug look on my Boss's face when I let him beat me (you heard me!) at Mario Kart �I can now be in a completely different room!

These are only a few of the aspects of the DS that make it wonderful, there are so many different applications and combinations of the advanced features of the DS that I cannot name them all here: may advice to you is to go out there and get one as soon as possible. You will not be disappointed. Me? I'm going to bury a pitfall seed in Noonvale and push Buck into it, then I might see if I can rustle up a posse to play some wireless Advance Wars. I feel touched.

Iun Hockley
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