Column: Fire Flower #21

The Forgotten Stepchild
Written by Iun

"As far as Nintendo is concerned, import gaming is a unified Global Conspiracy, designed by Criminal Masterminds."

The things I am about to say may well upset a lot of you, and I am sorry for that; however, some things have to be said, and if change is ever to be affected, people must be made to sit up and take notice. If this is done by causing offence, then so be it.

Animal Crossing is a great game. In fact, Animal Crossing is two great games; one on the Gamecube and one on the DS. The sad fact is, I imported both games, first on the Gamecube �well over a year before it came out in Europe, and I imported my version on the DS -6 months before the projected European release date. Do I hate Nintendo of Europe so much that I want to mess up their sales figures? No, of course I do not �but that is exactly what they want you to believe. As far as Nintendo is concerned, import gaming is a unified Global Conspiracy, designed by Criminal Masterminds to blur the territorial lines and bring gaming down by completely skewing the Natural Order Of Things. The Natural Order Of Things being that because of the multicultural nature of the European territory, Nintendo can use the excuse of a multilingual consumer base as a reason for shoddy service.

The truth is rather sad though:

Europe is not important.

Put down your pitchforks and listen: for far too long the same old tired excuse has been trotted out for ridiculously disparate release dates. Because Europe has many different languages, we are forced to suffer delays and excuses for the late release of games �I know that The Minish Cap was different, but how many other games have there been that have been released in Europe before the United States? Right now, I can't think of any.

To my mind (forgive me, my European brothers!) it would be the sensible thing to do to create a UK distribution network to sell the English-translated games at the same time as they go on sale in America. Most of the buzz generated for games hits when magazines review or preview the imported English language versions. When the game finally limps out in Europe, a lot of the buzz has died, or is at least badly wounded, because gamers �sick of waiting, have gone to buy for another console.

Gamers want to buy, but apparently Nintendo do not want to sell. That makes no sense whatsoever. If you exist in a marketplace where your consumers are bombarded by other brands but are clamouring primarily for your product, surely the sensible thing to do would be to get the product to the consumer in the fastest way possible to prevent your consumer base from turning their attention to your competitors?

Apparently not.

Furthermore, these interminably long delays only really reward us with a pan-European version of the game. Frankly, I would be more prepared to wait for a translated game if I actually felt like I was being rewarded for my patience, rather than punished because of my geographic location. If the delay incorporated the inclusion of new features, levels and secrets to unlock, then I think the pill would be easier to swallow. But when we see games come out in the United States that are fully English and ready to go, one is far less tempted to wait six months for the exact same game. It is insulting that Nintendo tells us it considers importing as a form of piracy: I think that it is criminal in itself that we have to wait so long for nothing new.

Ridiculous delay? Patronising explanations? No new features?

Stuff it up your arse. I'll import, thanks.

I cannot honestly say that I shed too many tears for the gamers of France, Germany and the rest of the European bloc that the English speakers are thrown in with. Sure, it is a tough situation for them too, but when there are warehouses full of English-translated games sitting in the United States, I believe that our neighbours would understand our exasperation at the situation. Why not ship out the pre-translated English language games, then focus your efforts on the rest of the European Union? It just seems silly.

That said, why can the games not be translated at every stage? Do we really need a one hundred percent completed product in order to begin translation? Perhaps the counter-argument would be that games go through fluid evolution, inasmuch as things change in them all the time, and as a result some portions of text become entirely irrelevant or redundant and that costs more money. Still, six moths between Japan and Europe seems a little long, would you not say? And it is not as if Nintendo of Europe is preparing a cross-media marketing blitz for the much-delayed software in order to bring it back into the public eye.

Here's a question: if the time delay between Japan and America is usually at most three months, then why can the delay between Japan and Europe be up to a year? One might say that the European market is simply not as important as Japan and America. That is certainly true. We get games later and our interest has waned, the European HQ of Nintendo is full of patronising and self-important buffoons, who are aware that they are fighting a losing battle and have to echo pretentious horse-swill like that "Blue Ocean" strategy that some imbecile has probably been paid millions to come up with.

We are not important, and we know we are not important. That is why so many Nintendo owners also have other consoles in order to fill the glaring genre and frequency gaps in their gaming lives. I have one final thought to share, and I really hope that someone from the company reads it and takes it in:

Make us important, and we will be important, Nintendo.

Iun Hockley
[email protected]


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