Contributed to by 1P and 2P

A certain two N-Europe staff members discuss the upsides and downsides of the Wi-Fi Connection, voice chat, and the fact there are no real girls on the interweb.

No, seriously it can totally be done! All we need is one controller, two cans of coke and a box of Lego.

You're a sick, sick person.

Baby, wait come back!

2P: 'Sup?

1P: Nothing much, just chatting up the lady types.

2P: Ladies? On the internet?

1P: Don't believe everything you hear.

2P: It would be so much better if everything was voice-chat, don't you think? Then you could really tell if someone was who they said they were.

1P: I don't think that's great at all, it'd mean I'd have to listen to you whine instead of watching you type insults to me on MSN whenever I kick your digital behind at Mario Strikers.

2P: Oh, oh oh! One time! ONE!

1P: Nintendo have got it right, voice chat is totally unnecessary.

2P: Just imagine over-taking some n00b online in Mario Kart Wii, and screaming at them in your best Toad impersonation: "I'M THE BEST!" How cool would that be?!

1P: Not cool at all? I mean, even using the word "n00b" just got you moved down a peg in the internet pecking order. What's fun about gloating about a pointless victory over some teenager from Canada when you thoroughly outclassed him?

2P: It'd be good to bring the Wii up to the standards of other consoles in this field - though I can see Ninty always shying away from it in fear of profanity-fuelled fools damaging the family friendly image...

1P: Exactly. "Hey that's MY Warthog you ***�$$$@@^&*^$" It ruins the experience for me. If I wanted to speak to real-life people, I'd be tempted to cut off my internet connection and hang around in bars more. Plus voice chat is not necessarily safe... lot's of weird characters hanging around with a cloak of relative anonymity...

2P: Chat would be optional, it'd just be nice to have the option. And hey, it's not like there's no weird characters hanging around in the bars of the world out there :P I guess I just wish the whole Wi-Fi Connection service was more advanced, y'know? Profiles, stats, and no fricking Friend Codes!

1P: The only reason you don't like Friend Codes is because it reminds you that I'm the only friend you have! It helps you make a decision with regards to who you trust to connect on the net to.... "Do I give this sweaty guy in the greasy shirt my number, or do I play it safe and give it to the cute totally-real hot girl at the bank?". It makes you stop and think.

2P: Not all random people are bad, and the option should be there. Though, I was talking to this one guy called Steve the other day, who said he likes to come online and pretend to be girls. HotGirl234 or something. Weirdo.

1P: Ahahaha...ha...oh. Well, you'd have to be an idiot to be taken in by that sort of thing. Or a child. The biggest obstacle is child protection, children won't necessarily turn voice chat off by themselves, and then you have to rely on parents taking an interest in what their children are doing. Which we both know is unlikely in our society at the moment.

2P: You say that, but all my family are Wii-players too. Though it would be rather disturbing to find my Dad yelling "take that you maple-syrup eating Canuck!" at the TV. But what about proper online profiles for the Wi-Fi Connection though? Achievements and the like?

1P: No objections here, achievements would be great, and the chance to rank yourself in the world and locally would be great. I don't know why you'd be so keen on that though, I mean, everyone would get official confirmation on your ineptitude and not just your close circle of people who don't hate you as much as everyone else.

2P: Says the guy who pulls his connection whenever he's losing...

1P: Blahblahblahblahblahlogoffwhenyou'relosing, I just happen to be a busy person!

2P: You see?! You see what I have to put up with!?

Hotgirl234: Hey, is 1P still online? I wanted to tell him I've thought about it, and we can do everything except the thing with the teabags. That sounds� odd.

2P: Oh, hey Steve.

Hotgirl234: Um� hi? Who are you?

2P: Steve, its me mate!

Hotgirl234: My name isn't Steve, genius.

2P: What?

Hotgirl234: I'm leaving now, weirdo...

2P: Sweet mercy, was that a real girl? On the internet? Hey wait, come back! What thing with teabags?