Bonjour. Guten Tag. Hello. Welcome, my fellow purple-box-loving acquaintances, to the second edition of BitchZone. This week I'll be asking the question which is sure to be floating around the innards of Nintendo- loving minds across our continent, are Nintendo their own worst enemy?

Simply put, yes. They are. Their sheer arrogance and unbelievably poor decision-making has cost Nintendo the number one place in the home console market. Sometimes the mistakes Nintendo have made in the past, and are sure to make in the future, bewilder me. Their stubborn attitude is a roadblock in their road to success. Their approach to marketing, advertising and the general handling of the GameCube and it's predecessors has stopped the company from progressing and becoming even more of a formidable opponent in the console war.

Take their approach to advertising for instance. They simply have no clue how to advertise. When they actually do try and get exposure for their products, which is a rarity, the actual advertisement is of terrible quality. Take the Mario Sunshine advert, what the hell was that? It was blinkin' despicable. Mario Sunshine, being the quality title that it is, deserved more. It wasn't done justice. If Nintendo had used their brains and pulled out a sleek, professional, witty advertisement, rather than a guy dressed in a Mario suit prancing around willy-nilly, the game might just have sold more. Come on 'tendo, you can do better. And let's not forget their "unforgettable" publicity stunts. Hmm..we need to get exposure for our new title. I know, let's find a pensioner and dye his moustache, and get this, sponsor him! Hum�. Nintendo are one of the biggest companies in the world, they could eat off pound notes if they chose, surely they can sort this advertising out.

Wario World is another example. The company must have hired Solid Snake to sneak the title into your local GAME, undetected by the public. The only advertising I've seen was in NGC, and that was weeks after the game appeared on the shelves. Why wasn't I eating Wario, Drinking Wario and Sleeping Wario? Let me tell you the public won't be playing Wario. This needs to be sorted. Here's hoping.

And lets not forget the Square incident. It makes me feel queasy inside. Nintendo's arrogance and stubborn attitude cost them dearly. For those of you less informed, Final Fantasy made it's first appearance on the NES, but in a move which turned them into the huge company that they are today, Square decided to develop the series for the PlayStation rather than the more powerful N64. This turned out be to be a great event for both Square and Sony, but not for Nintendo, who were left twisted and bitter. Hiroshi Yamauchi, Nintendo's ex-president, was particularly cold about the matter, and led a verbal assault on Square and the Final Fantasy games. This was the start of a war which raged on for many years.

The two companies exchanged abuse, with Yamauchi explaining that the Final Fantasy series hadn't evolved since the NES days, and Square reiterating that the series would never appear on the N64. In the dying-days of the 64- bit Nintendo machine and the early days of the GameCube, Square made little comments hinting that they would develop for the purple-box-o-joy. However, Yamauchi-san remained bitter and reiterated that the developers were not welcome. This was to be a silly, unreasonable mistake, which cost Nintendo dearly. Imagine having a Final Fantasy title launching simultaneously with the 'Cube. I'd bet my copy of the Wind Waker that the platform would have sold considerably more, as it would have appealed to the PSX veterans as well as Final Fantasy fans. And in the days when unit sales make or break a console, the appearance of a Final Fantasy title may have just been that extra boost which could have given GameCube a DKR-esque turbo start. Yes, the situation is rectified now, but the Square-Nintendo relationship could be a lot better, and the ball could have started rolling a lot sooner.

Another thing which bugs me about Nintendo is the features they spotlight to be their killer-aps. Online gaming is the future, no doubt, and what evidence of this feature is present on GameCube? One blinkin' game. Great. Instead we get to play with a little gimmick, otherwise known as the GCN/GBA link-feature, which, when utilised, gives us an extra level on the game of our choice. Yipee. Or Not. Why can't they just follow the trend for once? I know it's not necessary, and much like our teenage society, you shouldn't have to follow the latest trends and fads, but there is no doubt that online gaming is the future, heck I'll buy an Xbox just for the "Live" feature, and Nintendo are simply missing out. If we did a survey I'm sure at least 90% of gamers would prefer Return to Castle Wolfenstein on GameCube, with the chance to play with their buddies, rather than unlock a new level on the latest Disney game. Get my point? Come on Ninty, just go with the crowd for once, it'll be worth it.

And don't even get me started on their utilisation of trade events. E3, Los Angeles, the biggest trade event of the year. Massive games such as Halo 2, Half Life 2 and Metal Gear Solid 3 are on show, what will Nintendo combat them with at their annual press conference. A PSX rehash, Pac-Man and two GBA games on GameCube! Excellent. Bite me. Granted, Mario Kart, Pikmin 2 and Rogue Squadron 3 were on show, but the actual press conference was of terrible quality. And while the other two companies, Sony and Microsoft, showcased their advanced online features, Nintendo has the GCN/GBA link- feature on show. Let me hide my excitement.

Basically, Nintendo need to get it sorted. They need to have advertising everywhere. I want to see well-executed, exciting publicity stunts. When Mario Kart releases, I want to see Mario everywhere, on my crisp packets, on the side of my coke cans, in my magazines. I want to trip over massive cardboard-cut-outs of Mario in town, I want to see billboards covered in the Nintendo crew featured in the racing title. Sony and Microsoft can do it, why can't Nintendo?

Secondly, I know this has been addressed to a certain extent, now we have a new president; lets have a good, healthy working relationship with the third party companies. Let's be nice for once. Let's drop the attitude. Let's break away from the GBA gimmick and move onto the future, online gaming. Let's sort out a network, sign on developers to make the next Return to Castle Wolfenstein or Socom Navy Seals. Let's utilise E3 and other trade events to their full extent, lets create the hype, lets reveal the big games at the right times.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Nintendo. They are the most stupendous company in the world. But the mistakes they make me want to shed a tear. Lets hope the future will prove me wrong. Get the marketing sorted, drop the ignorant, arrogant attitude, follow the crowd for once and take advantage of the biggest shows in the world to show off what we can really do. The war has been won this time round, but if we get these problems sorted then next time round we might just have a chance of taking the crown.

-Peace out.
BitchZone is written by Ben Havercroft, Resident Bitcher
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