Nintendo planned this all along. Sure, they may claim the change of direction was due to their fears of where the games industry was going, but this controller was obvious to anyone who knew even a little about the companies past. How else can you explain 'Do The Mario', if not as the dance movement for infinite lives on Mario 128 using the Revolution controller?

Laugh if you will, but you won't be alone. Many have already scoffed the silliness of the Revolution's remote control, labelling in impractical, gimmicky and completely useless as an input device. They've got a point - it takes a lot of imagination to understand how it will work without being able to use it. So for the true-believers only, Revo-Europe has a special treat. You can experience the Revolution, right here and right now. No joke. No lie. See the beauty of it instantaneously, without leaving your room. Excited? You better be. Now turn around and pick up your DVD remote control.

Got it? Okay, now sit upright (as we don't slouch around here - this is a world exclusive, after all) hold your control in one hand and stare at your television. Now imagine a corridor on the screen, a deserted corridor deep within the abandoned space station orbiting Alpha Omega Forty Nine. The lights flicker monotonously, turning the shadows into monsters and hiding the real monsters in the darkness. A low murmur breaks the relative silence, coming from above you --

Tilt your remote control up. The screen pans up. You're now looking an a ceiling, where something has burned a hole straight through the sheets of protective metal. Blood drips from its edges.

Then a sound comes from behind. Tilt your remote around and you look behind. Press a button. You're now walking forward. Move around. You peer around the corridor. Where the hell is that monster?

And stop. Did you do it? Did you really imagine all of that? Did you just sit in your room, staring at blank screen, waving your remote control around like a maniac? If you did, congratulations, you're both a certified loon and one of the first people in the world to Do the Revolution! And if your imagination is strong enough, you should be rushing with excitement right about now.

Unfortunately, most people don't that much imagination. Like those willing to try hypnotism, only a select few truly gifted individuals will be able to experience the Revolution long before the release date. Which is not only a shame, but also worrying considering videogame makers aren't exactly famous for their own imaginations at the moment. Sequel after sequel. Franchise after franchise. 'Games makers, where has the creativity gone?' continually asks the gaming community. And for once they could be right. The Revolution controller might be great, but if it's only great if people are willing to use their imagination, then Nintendo might be looking at a software-only policy shift ala Sega.

Naturally, we don't want this at Revo-Europe. We saw the trauma Sega fans went through when they had to use a GameCube pad to play Sonic the Hedgehog. So to help us avoid their fate, revo-Europe now presents a list to imagination-free developers, lending them their our imaginative powers to help design great games for the Revolution. And for those who still don't believe in the power of Nintendo, then read and be overjoyed at the potential:

Lucasarts - Instead of making Rogue Squadron: Rogue's Leader: Second in Command When The Rest Of The Squad Are Having A Cup Of Tea, let's have a much needed evolution to the Jedi Knight series - with real lightsaber control. That's right Star Wars fan boys, that clunky remote control is now a fully working weapon of the Jedi. Let's see how elegant it really is. Deflect blaster bolts, slice enemies in half and above all, fight other lightsaber wielding foes, at no risk to actually losing your hand (or in the case of live-action role-play, your dignity).

Capcom - Forget supporting Sony, Resident Evil should only be developed for the Revolution. Can anyone say torchlight? Without a controller to wave at the screen when things get tough, the Revolution player will feel naked and vulnerable. Link them moving their wrist to their character moving their wrist and the barriers between player and character fall down. Then laugh mockingly as a zombie screams from behind the player and they flick their wrist so hard the controller spins out of their hands. Brutal terror.

Ubisoft - What have you done to the Prince, Ubi? Surely you need to free him from the generic metal soundtrack and the stupid six o'clock shadow. Let's have him tip-tapping across walls and leaping across broken balconies again. And whilst we're at it, let's conduct his movements in a way that they've always hinted - like a conductor controlling the flow of music. As he jumps and leaps with the grace of a ballet dancer, we flick wrists and wave arms with fluid motions. Hop, skip and jump, flick flick flick. Just like a controller, this is all about timing - it's no different to anything you've done before. Only now, you're not mapping the controls to an analogue stick, but the movement of the Revolution's pad. So forget your mocking mates and design a game based on the grace of ballet. It might sound a bit poncy, but it will sure as hell be fun.

E.A - Finally, E.A. The holder of all the franchises and most of the generica across the entirety of the industry. What could they possibly do? Well, for a start, let's take just one of their many franchises - Harry Potter. If moving the Revolution controller makes you look like anything other than a bit loopy, it's one of those pesky goddamn kids from Rowling's super-popular series. The remote almost seems tailor made to be used as a wizardly wand in Harry Potter games. Imagine a 3D-shooter inside Hogwarts, as you wander around firing off hexes and curses at the screen in Time Crisis fashion. Go a step further and connect a DS to the Revolution as well, and you've got voice-synched control, so you have to shout the curse as to fire. Complicated. Hard-work. Tremendous fun.

So there you have it, true-believers and gamesdevelopers alike. This controller is difficult, awkward and unpredictable. Yet, when it's considered with creativity, care and true attention, it becomes a thing of unrivalled potential, joy and wonder. So pick up your DVD controller. Fight with a lightsaber. Curse a wizard with a hex. Shine a torch over a monster. Play, imagine, create. Feel like an idiot, but a happy one. Have fun. After all, it's what you pay for when you buy a console, isn't it?

Isn't it?

Time for a revolution, folks. Time to forget words like 'innovation' and phrases like 'the death of the games industry'. Time for us to remember why we game. Time to have fun.

Chris Hicks
[email protected]
eatmyfear.com