Feature: Of Handhelds And Castles

Chris talks DS and GBA2. Guess the theme

Written by Chris Hicks

I am Lancelot

Aha! Hello dirty peasants! Step aside for my noble steed, will you? I must reach the castle, for I am Lancelot. I have come to fight King Conor and steal his wife Guinevere, so we may live in peace away from the terrible rain in this country and Conor's obsession with finding an old supper cup.

Whilst I battle his fearsome guards, I may as well address some of the points his loyal roundtable made in their last address. I have read a scribe's transcript of their words, you see, and have to say, I think they missed my perspective. So, follow me as I vault over the moat of cube-europe and tell you my thoughts on the GBA2.

Whack! So, is there really a need for a new Game Boy? After all, Nintendo stated from the beginning that the DS is not the Game Boy's successor. That it was the third pillar in the Nintendo catalogue. That development on a new Game Boy continued.

That the DS is backwards compatible with the GBA.

Thump! Do you like my new sheath, by the way? I bought it in France. This shiny new sword came with it, but I prefer the weight of my old one, so I keep it in the sheath as well. I no longer use my old sheath, as the new one does can do everything it can do and more. The new one isn't a replacement, though. True, it renders the old one useless, but it's not a replacement.

It is not a replacement.

Ka-pow! Where was I? Oh yes, the roundtable. Noble Knight Craig said in his address, "The DS, although a fantastic little system, isn't as appealing to the mainstream as the PSP". He is of course, right. As I have travelled far and wide, I saw Nintendo itself loose its appeal to the mainstream. Now that the Black Knight of Sony plagues our villages, Nintendo's software needs to change if it is to complete in the greatest jousting tournament in all the land. Given the choice, the innkeepers of Nottingham and the farmers of Kent will prefer Wipeout Pure to Yoshi Touch and Go. No longer does Sir Mario hold sway over the common folk. These are dark times, indeed.

Yet, the mighty Nintendo are not so stupid not to realise this. The DS is their concession that they have lost the mainstream gamer and that they will loose the handheld gamer as well. Like the Romans, they have seen their time is over and they are retreating to fortify their base.

And reform their empire into something different.

Crunch. Nintendo's 'third pillar' line is just a line. In the event of failure, they can say, 'Oh well. The DS was only an experiment. Now we shall continue with the Game Boy'. Conversely, if it's successful, 'The DS has proved so popular we have decided to merge current Game Boy development with it'.

Knight Dennis would argue against this. He even said, "The DS however didn't focus on the best hardware there is, but on a whole new concept of gaming". Like his peers on the roundtable, he is also right. Yet, I believe, this new concept of gaming is where the mighty Nintendo flagship will sail. As the Black Knight of Sony waited outside alehouses and preyed upon those sent home early thanks to outdated licensing laws, Nintendo looks for its own untapped market to peddle its wares to.

Pow. Now, if you travel east, on top of a steep hill you will see a small group forming. It's not much at the moment, but over the coming year its size will grow. This time next year, they'll be an army, ready to run down and storm our lands. As they do so, they'll be shouting, "Revolution, revolution, revolution!".

The Nintendo DS is the scout for this army. Whilst its sibling's GBA and GameCube promise faithful Counts and Lords that even as they withdraw from kingdoms, they will continue to support them, the DS looks for new allies. Let the followers of the Black Knight kill each other in online death matches, Nintendo thinks. It will instead speak with non-gamers and show them the simple joys of gaming.

Wham! We're entering the dingy and murky dungeon now, where Conor holds Guinevere prisoner. The echo is unrelenting down here, so forgive me if I seem to repeat myself.

-- so forgive me if I seem to�

Blamo! So, the question remains, is there a need for a new Game Boy? I think not. Ever. The market the Game Boy targets now belongs to Sony and no amount of processing power will change that. Even if Nintendo were to produce games like Wipeout and Grand Theft Auto, people will still buy a PSP over a GBA2, because hey, it's Sony.

Nintendo know this. And they've been drawing plans. Think about the games released for the GameCube recently. Mario Party. WarioWare. Donkey Konga. Nintendo are looking to broaden their horizons. In hindsight, even Connectivity looks like an experiment. It seems Nintendo have been plotting to leave the market for an age. I've been speaking to Merlin about this recently and he compares it to something called The Godfather, when someone called Michael plans his revenge for years, then swiftly strikes before leaving for a prosperous new land.

I'm not too sure if Nintendo will find a prosperous new land, but for the first time in a while, I am not sceptical of Nintendo's move. As the plague of the Black Knight sweeps our land, it is time we looked at least buying a holiday home where ever Nintendo are going. When the Revolution comes, it certainly won't be around here. Just like Guinevere, who seems to be in another castle. Oh well, better leave before those Knights arrive and give me what for. Until next time, fellow peasants!

Chris Hicks
eatmyfear


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