Fire Flower #9: Apply Within

Apply Within
Written by Iun

"Reggie was left in the middle of the stage under a very bright spotlight, holding a chocolate bar masquerading as a new GBA."

I really envy Reggie Fils-Aime, because he works for Nintendo. He's the spokesman for the video game company with the longest and most distinguished pedigree in gaming. Just the thought of being in the same lucky position as the giant-sized American sets my head spinning with the possibilities and the opportunities for creativity and expression he must have.

In himself, Reggie is a great guy: he's confident, bullish, outspoken and his shoes are at least the size of coffins. Fact. And unlike Ken Kutaragi, he's not a smug balding old man that is so obsessed with profit and market domination that he's fully prepared to steamroller over his loyal fanbase. Reggie also seems to share nothing in common with his fellow Americans �he's so not enormously fat that he looks ridiculous when promoting video games for the under-30s, true, he is a big guy, but you have to respect any guy who has a small south east Asian cotton field dedicated entirely to the construction of his trousers. Also, he's a face of continuity for the company, not like the myriad of fat fall-guys that Microsoft sends out into the wastelands of their most unprofitable venture. He's got charisma, stage presence and an extremely cheeky grin that would earn him a chocolate biscuit from grandmothers all across the nation.

In short, Reggie is the greatest asset that Nintendo have in the West. As much as I want to shake the hand of Miyamoto, I want to hang out with Reggie much more.

Which is why I find myself wondering: why does he stay at Nintendo? He's wasted there.

While the other companies at E3 were touting their prowess and showing off rendered videos of their spanking new consoles, Reggie was left in the middle of the stage under a very bright spotlight, holding a chocolate bar masquerading as a new Game Boy Advance. Great thinking, Nintendo. You take the man with the largest personality in video gaming and give him the smallest and most unimpressive looking new console at the show. Then you have him spout some utter rubbish about it being the machine for the "lifestyle" gamer, the gamer that likes their iPod. The gamer who has perhaps seen the PSP and thought how great it looks compared to the DS, even if it is hideously overpriced and the battery runs down quicker than a vibrator in a nunnery.

Nintendo is still trying to tell people what they want from gaming, instead of responding to what the people do want from their games. And the same goes for their "presentation" of the Revolution. Sure, it looks reasonably sexy, but where were the videos? Where was the machine running? Where was the controller? If they had given a glimpse of the controller, it would have gone some way to salvage the show for them, if only because it would hopefully look a darn sight better compared to the "boomerang" PS3 controller and the tacky and ugly 360 handset. Nintendo cite the reason for the no-show as being the fear that their rivals will steal their ideas. Hang on, wasn't that the same reason given for the absence of Mario 128 over the past few years? Whatever their reasons, poor Reggie looked increasingly ridiculous as he showed off the new toy, a great new Zelda video and a seemingly endless stream of Mario-themed games.

I like Mario, I think that his platform games have remained consistently strong as the home of true gameplay fanatics for years. But the insistence of farming out Mario and "friends" in increasingly banal franchises is getting more than a little tiring. Mario Party is good for multiplayer, Mario Tennis is acceptable without the power shots, Mario Golf is fine if you know nothing about the actual sport... but Mario Soccer? How long until Mario Rugby? Or Mario International Curling Championship? What's next then � the Mariolympics?

Jeez...

Truthfully speaking, I still love Reggie. I think he's Nintendo's biggest and most wasted asset. Last year, he was in bullish form, and their presentation was fresh and new: solid details on a new and evolutionary handheld; an unexpected and slick Zelda video and cryptic announcements regarding the new console. Last year was a great year to be a Nintendo fan; they blew everyone else out of the water, this year they seemed like they were too scared of getting wet to go in for a dip with everyone else. Last year there was fact to back up their claims, this time around we have very little to truly believe in.

Speaking retrospectively, I really don't envy Reggie that much...

...I feel sorry for him.

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