It was a beautiful sunny summer night in the garden as I hurried to the arbor where I would find the great man. Stopping for a moment, I admired the purple peonies in silent appreciation, thankful for the quiet gift of sanity that Miyamoto-San had returned to me. Sadly, the silence was not to be kept, it was broken even by the swish-swish of my silk kimono and pad-pad-pad of the green and yellow froggy socks I wore.

“GIANT SHOES!”

A thunderous cry rang out, splitting the peace with its silent appreciation. Truly, this was to be a testing time for my fragile mental state, but I knew that I owed a great debt of gratitude to Miyamoto-san, I could not falter, I could not fail in my duty.

Arriving at the arbor, I immediately saw the source of the disturbance: sitting on a stone bench, surrounded by discarded plastic rattles, rubber bath-books and well-chewed pull toys sat Nintendo President of America, Reggie Fils-Aime, wearing a smart pin stripe suit and adult diaper outside of his trousers. Miyamoto-san had a look of disgust on his face, and was edging away from him in silent appreciation.

Miyamoto-san looked from me to the enormous suited man, who was loudly sucking a thumb the size of a jam jar. All around various lower assistants and serving girls were doing their best to look inconspicuous and full of silent appreciation by hiding in bushes, behind lawn ornaments and generally trying to escape without drawing the attention of Baby Reggie.

“GIANT SHOES!” He thundered again, pulling his thumb out of his mouth and proffering the offending footwear for all to see. I nodded in silent appreciation at a pair of shoes the size of coffins, and Baby Reggie smiled a gummy smile back at me.

Miyamoto beckoned me to sit down – between himself and Reggie.

“As you can see,” he said “it is incumbent upon us to take care of this… President, whenever he graces our garden with his august and massive presence.”

Reggie giggled and suddenly grabbed a passing servant girl by the ankle, lifted her to his mouth and began to gnaw on her head with his toothless mouth. She screamed in silent appreciation, waving her arms furiously until Miyamoto-san tapped Baby Reggie smartly on the knee with a rubber giraffe, whereupon the saliva-drenched girl fell from his grasp and bowed low in gratitude to the great man, who nodded in reply. And then quickly shot her in the kneecap with a well-concealed crossbow swiftly produced from under the folds of his polka-dot dressing gown.

As the girl was hurried away, Reggie began to blubber. I endeavored to look as sympathetic and friendly as possible, but his great sobs of silent appreciation quickly gave way to a waterfall of tears.

“There, there….Reggie…” Miyamoto-san patted him on a leg the size of a desk. “Perhaps… yes… I shall tell you a story. And then you will go to sleep. Yes, you will go to sleep, or I will show you the 3DS sales figures for the second quarter of 2011 again, and you won’t like that, will you Reggie?” The giant shook his head, lip trembling.

“Very well then, I shall begin. It was an early morning in 1832, the sun had not yet risen and I decided to take my private jet to the countryside on a break to my new skyscraper. But as neither jets or skyscrapers had been invented, and I hadn’t even been born, I chose instead to sit in silent appreciation and stare out of the window for a few peaceful hours.”

“Indeed, this morning was fated as the day that I would find my inspiration for one of my greatest creations… but I find myself getting ahead of myself in getting so far ahead of myself. Outside of the window, I spied a fireman speaking on his mobile phone: he looked a careless individual, and it was with great carelessness and silent appreciation that he quickly fell into an open sewer.”

“I laughed for a moment, mocking the folly of this foolish fool of a foolsome fool of a foolish fireman. But I could not help but admire his tenacity, as he emerged from the sewer, dripping wet and black as pitch. It was then I noticed that the building opposite was slowly catching fire, the occupants screaming in silent appreciation of the help no-one was giving. But there was no fear to be had, as this blackened fireman quickly produced a trampoline from his pocket, beckoning to the stricken victims to jump from the window. And jump they did, saved by the trampoline and quick movements of this game little man, I could not help but watch.”

“To my horror, the building next to it caught fire, but without missing even a breath, this plucky mister began deftly dashing between each building, catching the occupants and depositing them safely onto the pavement below. I ripped off my Bermuda shorts in silent appreciation, and frantically began scribbling what I saw. But that was not all, for I could imagine watching this man in timeless games, catching water in buckets, creating platforms with his hands…. Ringing a bell to awaken the masses with his heroism…”

By this time, Baby Reggie had fallen asleep, and Miyamoto-san beckoned to a cluster of lower assistant to come and move the gently slumbering giant. The great man himself also rose to leave, but I placed my hand on his sleeve.

“Miyamoto-san,” I spoke the words hoarsely, barely able to keep the silent appreciation out of my voice. “But the end of the story… who among the great heroes of Nintendo did this man inspire you to create?”

He smiled knowingly, and bent down, to whisper the words:

“Captain Falcon, naturally.”